I can’t live with this shadow hanging over me
My Poem
I can’t live with this shadow hanging over me
It’s tearing me apart
If I just could see my self
Then my life wouldn’t be so hard!
The feeling not to compare to others
Are getting stronger every day
My heart can’t bear this pain and sorrow
Please, just go away!
The cuts on my hand are getting brighter
The knife is covered in blood
My weight is getting facile
Oh God! What have I done?
Why can’t I be like others?
Normal, cute and fun..?
I don’t know why I even bother
Because that can’t or will not be done!
I try to hide the pain and sorrow, behind a little smile
But someone, someone reads me
They are not blind
I want to be different, at least just for a while!
They say I am a beautiful girl
A person I want to be
I look at my self in the mirror
And ask; is this what they really see..?
“You are not pretty” someone said
I have felt so ugly since that day
I tried to push the pain away
But every day I have failed.
And now the pain is getting stronger
I don’t know how much I’ve cried
I just can’t take this any longer
My thoughts have been; what if I died?
Many pills to sleep at night
Didn’t go to well
I was sick at least a week
And didn’t hear the bell
Mum and dad was scared to death
I don’t blame them at all
It’s just so hard for me to get
The help that they really want
To talk to people I don’t know
To solve my problem fast
Is harder not to speak at all
But things will always last.
I feel so stupid and insecure
I think I am better of alone
I don’t know what to do anymore
Maybe it’s best for those I know
I love them all, oh so much
And now I’m letting them done
If I can be happy with whom I am
Then my pain may leave my heart!
I really try to speak to someone
But I just begin to cry
I don’t want to be gone
And that is not a lie!
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