When A Feller's Itchin' To Be Spanked

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by Paul Laurence Dunbar

W’en us fellers stomp around, makin’ lots
o’ noise,
Gramma says, “There’s certain times comes
to little boys
W’en they need a shingle or the soft side of
a plank;”
She says “we’re a-itchin’ for a right good
spank.”
An’ she says, “Now thes you wait,
It’s a-comin’—soon or late,
W’en a fellers itchin’ for a spank.”

W’en a feller’s out o’ school, you know how he
feels,
Gramma says we wriggle ‘roun like a lot o’
eels.
W’y it’s like a man that’s thes home from out
o’ jail.
What’s the use o’ scoldin’ if we pull Tray’s
tail?
Gramma says, tho’, “thes you wait,
It’s a-comin’—soon or late,
You’se the boys that’s itchin’ to be spanked.”

Cats is funny creatures an' I like to make 'em
yowl
Gramma alwus looks at me with an awful scowl
An' she says, "Young gentlemen, mamma
should be thanked
Ef you'd get your knickerbockers right well
spanked."
An' she says, "Now thes you wait,
It's a-comin' — soon or late,"
W'en a feller's itchin' to be spanked.

Ef you fin’ the days is getting’ awful hot
in school
An’ you know a swimmin’ place where it’s nice
an’ cool,
Er you know a cat-fish hole brimmin’ full o’
fish,
Whose a-goin’ to set around school and wish?
‘Tain’t no use to hide your bait,
It’s a-comin’—soon or late,
W’en a feller’s itchin’ to be spanked.

Ol’ folks know most ever’thing ‘bout the
world, I guess,
Gramma does, we wish she knowed thes a
little less,
But I alwus kind o’ think it ‘ud be as well
Ef they wouldn’t alwus have to up an’ tell;
We kids wish ‘at they’d thes wait,
It’s a-comin’—soon or late,
W’en a feller’s itchin’ to be spanked.

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